“I Just Don’t Love Him / Her Anymore”

I would have to say that this is probably the most common statement I hear from couples having difficulties in their marriage. Nevertheless, this statement always let’s me know right from the start that the individual that is saying it does not understand what true love is all about.

In today’s world, most people think that they are in love because of the feelings they have when they are attracted to that special someone, out on a date with a person they like, or physically close to their boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse. These feelings are no doubt natural and very common, but they are really not a sign that they are “in love”.

The scriptures point out that love is all about giving, not feelings. John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world that He GAVE His only begotten Son . . .”. I John 3:18 says, “. . . let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in DEED and in truth.”. Notice, in both scriptures, the emphasis is on doing something for someone else, rather than simply feeling good about another person.

In a marriage, the greater sign of true love is not how you feel about the other person, but rather a willingness to go throughout the day thinking about the needs of the other person and striving to meet those needs. This is certainly not what we learn from our romance novels, TV shows, teen magazines, and high school social settings, nevertheless, it is still true.

Here is the main point that I must make in this section. (PLEASE DO NOT MISS THIS!) When people say that they just don’t think that they love their husband/wife anymore, they need to realize that whether they feel like it or not, THEY CAN LOVE THEIR SPOUSE ANY TIME THEY WANT TO.

Think about it. What is keeping them from sacrificially giving to the other person on a consistent basis. To be honest, the only thing that is keeping them from doing this is the fact that they are being controlled by their feelings, however, we must remember that love is all about giving and doing things for another person, rather than just feeling good about your relationship with them. Therefore, whether a spouse feels like it or not, there is no reason for them to stop loving (giving) to the other person.

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Article written by Christian Marriage Speaker and Coach, Dr. Raymond Force

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