The Dangers of Premarital Sex
Teens, dating couples, singles, and boys and girls that engage in pre-marital sex, sex before marriage (sex outside of marriage), and/or “making out” or getting physical before marriage do not realize how they are setting themselves up for what I call “the great let down” after the wedding day. There are a variety of reasons for this, however, I will simply attempt to deal with one in this article.
First of all, when couples / singles are physical with one another before marriage, the feelings that are derived from this tend to start driving the relationship. As a matter of fact, as long as those feelings are present, they will seemingly do anything for one another. That is, both become very intoxicated with these feelings, and, most of the time, these feelings cause both participants to be convinced that they are madly in love with one another. Actually, love has very little to do with these feelings in that they are more infatuated with the way they feel than with sacrificially loving and giving to the other person. I often say that they are not so much in love as they are in lust.
Part of what is producing these intense feelings is the same phenomenon that enticed Eve to partake of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Simply put, there is something very stimulating to the human body and mind about doing the “thou shalt not”. Sad, but true.
I have two little twin girls, and, during the summer time, they love to ride their little tricycles. To help keep them out of the road and establish a clear-cut boundary in their minds, we painted a little blue line on our driveway. At times, it is amazing to see how they will ride their tricycles as close to that line as possible without (most of the time) crossing over it. Hey, I do the same thing. If the speed limit is 55, I want to go 59. If it is 25, I’m tempted to go 29 or 30. Why? There is just something that works within our deceitful hearts (Jeremiah 17:9) that tempts us to do that which God has previously outlawed.
One of the problems with getting physical before marriage is that, one day, the “back door” is shut. That is, the illegal becomes legal, and the “thou shalt not” is now something that is totally allowed by God and conscience. Consequently, the couple that has been “sneaking food off the table before suppertime” will typically experience some sort of change in their level of excitement when they actually “sit down to eat”. In other words, after the wedding day, the excitement that God has designed for couples to enjoy is a different type of excitement that is based on giving and sharing instead of taking something that is, in the sight of God, considered off-limits. Consequently, many couples confuse that difference for a loss of love or passion toward one another.
The old-timers used to say, “Forbidden fruits are, sometimes, sweeter.” No, sex outside of marriage is not better or sweeter, but, if couples never make the transition from a self-centered, premarital relationship to a healthy, vibrant, and God-filled marriage, then there could be an allusion that sex before marriage was actually better.
Many times, after about six months of being married, the young bride starts to call mom when he is still out playing ball with the guys or in the other room watching his fourth sitcom in a row and says, “Mom, he’s changed!” or “He’s not the same guy I married.”. You see, the young groom previously spent most of his free time thinking about her, calling her on his cell phone whenever he had a chance, buying her little gifts and flowers, telling her anything she wanted to hear, and he would actually look at her and only her when they went out to eat instead of the four or five television sets at the restaurant.
The important question to ask is: Has he really changed? The answer is actually, no. HE IS THE SAME SELFISH MAN THAT SHE KNEW 6 MONTHS BEFORE THEY WERE MARRIED. However, now, because those feelings that previously drove the relationship are no longer present and the newness and the curiosity of getting physically intimate has worn off, instead of spending his time gratifying his body through hers, he is now just pleasing himself through television, video games, friends, sports, overindulgence in food and alcohol, et cetera. You see, nothing has really changed. He’s still selfish. It is just that he is not spending all of his waking hours trying to please himself through her. He is merely taking a different avenue in order that his body and ego may be gratified in some way, shape, or form. You see, all that has changed is the “carrot at the end of the stick”.
If you are a single person, dating couple, teenager, or parent of the same, we would highly enocourage you to check out our Audio Cd Series called Divorce 101 – How to Prepare for a Mediocre Marriage. Click Here for more info.
Watch this Special Message from Dr. Raymond Force to all Teenagers, Singles, and Parents of the same.
To Order our Audio Cd Series called Divorce 101 – How to Prepare for a Mediocre Marriage, Click Here.
